She had been skeptical about change since Obama’s first presidential campaign, when it seemed everyone was eager to change. She knew then, and has know all along, that most people hate to change though they’re happy to see others do it.

Your mother’s chili was onions, hamburger, tomato soup, kidney beans, no chili powder, no peppers. Mexican flags flew at half staff every time she made it.

Karaoke divides humanity into two groups: those who don’t want to sing and shouldn’t be compelled, and those who do and shouldn’t be allowed.

Panting like a marathon runner at mile twenty, overheated bloodhound, steam engine crawling up the Continental Divide.

Alliteration is not a prostitute to be sold to every sailor who visits the port. This fine lady is a valuable literary diva one should ask to sing her aria only for special occasions.

Exposed like butt cheeks at a strip club; chicken breasts, fleshy and sallow in the butcher’s case; tequila bottle soldiers lined up across the bar’s back wall.

Now I felt exposed, on display like a puppy in a pet store window, strip steak in a butcher case, burglar caught in a flashlight beam, in a word, naked.

If I sneezed, writers’ vitals would spew out my nose like bats from a cave mouth, fiery balls from a roman candle, water from an open fire hydrant.

Stop that!” Ghost Hemingway ordered. “It’s like teaching goddamned cats to walk on their back legs.” He sighed. “Standing eggs on end in a dining car.” He signed again. “Talking to Scotty Fitzgerald sober.

No difference making a living with what’s between your ears and making one with what’s between your legs.